Regret
by MandyCakes
Summary: Sometimes, we have to be pushed to our breaking point to make a change. DETTY...probably a bad summary...the first in a series of random one-shots in my head...


**Okay, I know this isn't an update, but I'm hoping this will keep you guys satisfied until I can get on that next week. I'm studying for the boards, and I literally wrote a few one shots late one night...funny how I think of Daniel and Betty scenarios when I'm reviewing aspects of COPD and heart disease. This story, and the other one shots I post will be very random, but are different scenarios as to how Detty comes to be. I hope I'm making sense. It's late and I'm low on caffeine. Anywho, please review, and I appreciate your patience with Stages of Grief...I want to be completely done before I post anything else. Thanks for reading!

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Betty was roused from a light sleep, darkness reminding her of the lateness of the hour. Her eyelids started to get heavy again, until she realized what had woken her in the first place.

She sat up in bed, the pounding at her door making her heart beat just as loud. Betty groggily glanced at the alarm clock, noting it had only been thirty minutes or so since she'd finally been able to lay down. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, grabbing her robe and padding to the door cautiously.

Betty swallowed hard, tiptoeing to look through the peep hole. She let out a tired sigh, unlocking the door and swinging it open.

"Where's my husband?" the tall slender woman asked anxiously, running a hand through her short blond hair.

"Julie- slow down," Betty held a hand up, still standing in the doorway."I don't know where Daniel is…" she began, trying to clear the fog out of her mind.

Julie placed her hands on her hips, pacing the small area in front of Betty's door. "Here, come in," Betty stepped aside, giving her a quick glance over as she stepped inside.

"He hasn't been in contact with you at all?" Julie's green eyes looked down at her accusingly. Betty shrugged, wondering what exactly was going on.

"No. I haven't seen him since after the funeral," she replied, placing a tuft of hair behind her hair.

"Well where else would he be?" Julie crossed her arms over her chest. Betty took in her appearance, the stress lines on her forehead, and wrinkled black dress from the services earlier today.

"He probably needs to be alone right now. He did just lose his mother, Julie," Betty heard herself say.

Even saying it out loud now, four days after she passed, it still didn't seem real. Claire had fallen ill six months ago, the doctors saying the invasive treatment would only worsen her quality of life. Daniel had taken it better than she had at first, at least he'd fooled everyone into thinking he was okay. Betty saw right through it all though, the façade he put up for those around him, including Julie.

He finally let his guard down one night, when she was helping him finish some things up at work. Daniel was talking about some crazy layout idea Wilhelmina had. She'd looked over at him, grinning slightly at what he'd said. He held her gaze for a moment, the lighthearted nature of their conversation coming to a standstill between them. His blue eyes welled with tears as he moved his gaze away from hers.

Betty had reached over, placing her hand on his back, her fingers gliding along the expensive cotton with ease. Daniel looked back at her, tears spilling over his lashes. "It's okay," she'd said softly as he scooted closer, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. His quiet cries turned into sobs as he released what he was feeling.

"Yeah but he doesn't need to be alone right now," Julie's voice brought Betty back to the present.

"Maybe _you_ don't know what he needs right now," Betty told her, letting out a tired sigh. Betty knew she was being short with her, but it had been a long day, it was 12:43 in the morning and she wasn't exactly in the mood for an interrogation.

"Excuse me?" Julie raised an eyebrow, then let out a cynical chuckle, "oh that's right. I keep forgetting you know him better than anyone else."

Betty secured her robe around her, "look, it's been a long day for everyone. I think you just need to-"

"I guess that's what this is all about huh?" Julie interrupted her, pulling a crinkled piece of notebook paper out of her coat pocket. Betty took it from her hand reluctantly, opening it.

"I came across it on the floor by the bed when I was freaking out a couple hours ago wondering where my husband had run off to. At first I thought it was some kind of morbid goodbye letter, but after I read the first few lines, I realized who it was really for. Why would a man ball up and try to throw away a letter to his wife? Doesn't make much sense does it?" she asked, as Betty started to read the familiar script:

_As I sit here, trying to find the words I'm going to speak at your funeral tomorrow, I find myself wishing that she were here, here to help me find the perfect words. You always said we complemented each other perfectly, professionally and in our personal lives. I brushed off what you said all those years ago, because while it was true in some ways, at the time, the thought of what it implied scared me. It scared me to think that there could be someone who knew what move I was going to make before I did it, my thought process before I'd said anything. I'd never had that before, and from what I know…lots of people never find it. But things are different now. I'm much wiser, as you would say, and I've been through some things since then. Hindsight is 20/20. You can see all of your mistakes, the what-ifs and learning experiences. I had one of those moments a few months ago. And while I don't like having regrets in life, if I had known then what I know now, about myself, about her…well…maybe I wouldn't even be writing these words. You really did always know best, didn't you? I know we went through rough times as a family, but I still couldn't have asked for a better mother. I'll miss you so much mom. I'll miss your smile, your strength, your dignity, and laughter. I love you._

Betty stared down at the paper, some of the ink smeared at certain places. He must've been crying when he wrote it. She blinked back a few tears of her own, folding the paper up neatly and looking back up at Julie.

"Why'd you give me this?" Betty held it out for her.

"Oh I don't want it," she shook her head, walking past Betty to the door. "If you hear from Daniel before I do, can you-"

"I'll let you know," Betty reassured her. Julie nodded, leaving the apartment and closing the door behind her.

Betty rolled her eyes, running a hand over her face and releasing some of the stress she felt in her body by breathing deeply for a few moments. She shook her head, walking back into the bedroom to pick her phone up off the nightstand.

"Crap," she muttered to herself, seeing she had two missed calls, both from Daniel. Her phone was on silent. Maybe he'd called after she'd fallen asleep? She pushed the small button, bringing the phone to her ear. He picked up after one ring.

"Hello?" his voice sounded heavy.

"Daniel, where the hell are you? Julie's worried about you," she asked angrily, not waiting for his reply before she used a softer tone. "Are you okay?"

She heard him sigh. "I'm okay. Just needed some time to think," he told her.

"Well Julie just left here looking for you…she wasn't happy," Betty sat on her bed, running a hand through tangled strands.

"I know, I just called her, she let me have it," he cleared his throat, "I apologized and told her to try and get some rest," Betty heard a car door close in the background.

"So are you at home now? Gonna stop worrying people for the night?" she stifled a yawn.

"Umm…I'm actually at your place," Daniel informed her.

"Huh? You're here?"

"Yeah. Can you buzz me up?" Betty stood from the bed, walking to living room and pushing the white button so he could come into the building. Maybe Julie was right to assume he'd be here after all.

A couple of minutes later, Betty heard his familiar knock, and unlocked the door for him. He stood on the other side of the threshold, surprising her at how put-together he looked. No one would've guessed he'd buried his mother twelve hours ago.

"Hey." He said, the faint smell of his cologne and alcohol drifted past as he walked inside.

Betty leaned against the door, her eyes glued to his, trying to figure out what was going through his mind. Usually she could read him, but perhaps it was the lateness of the hour that was affecting her judgment. "Daniel, what are you doing? Where'd you go?" she wondered, crossing her arms.

He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head, "I walked around for a bit, went back to my parents' house after everyone had left, walked around some more, ended up on the Brooklyn Bridge…I needed to clear my head," he replied, staring down at her with a vulnerability in his eyes that made being angry at him so difficult.

Why had he gone to the bridge? That was the place that they…Betty shook her head. "Daniel, you can't just _disappear_ after your mother's funeral! I know you're hurting, but people worry about you. _I _worry about you…" she rested her hands on her hips, fresh tears welling in her big brown eyes, threatening their way out.

"I know," Daniel nodded, stepping closer to her as she regained her composure, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," she gave his hand a squeeze. "Just don't do it again, okay?"

"I won't," he promised, and she nodded. "Betty, I love you."

Betty stared at him wide-eyed, releasing her hand from his. What did he say?

"I think I've always loved you. I can't live like this anymore. I shouldn't have married Julie. I should have married _you_," his hands rested on her shoulders now and he pulled her closer to him.

Betty stared up at him, taking a series of small breaths. When had breathing become such a difficult task?

"That night…of my engagement party. We almost kissed, remember? I should've kissed you, I should've taken you in my arms and told you how I was feeling. But I didn't. You said you were happy for me and you were still with Matt…and I …just didn't…" His eyes were puffy, the blue orbs missing the spark that made them his.

Betty was sure her face was white as a ghost, and she looked away from him. "Daniel, you've been drinking. It's been a really stressful week," she began, feeling her nerves on edge.

"You've known me long enough to know that I'm _not_ drunk, Betty," Daniel countered. He had a point there.

"It wasn't the alcohol that made me want to kiss you then and it's not the alcohol now," he told her. "It's you," he brought his mouth to hers, kissing her lips passionately, like a man who thought she'd disappear any moment. Betty easily molded herself into his body, returning his kiss, savoring the feeling of his lips on hers. It was electric.

He pulled away slightly, holding her face in his hands. "I've wanted to do that for so long," Daniel told her, letting out an uneven breath. "Me too," Betty stared into his eyes, everything he felt reflected within.

"I don't wanna have anymore regrets, Betty. This has been eating me up inside...I'm married but all I think about is you. It's not fair to Julie and it's not fair to us. I have to make this right...because I don't want to be without you," his blue eyes pooled with fresh tears, and never before had she been more sure that she was in love with him.

"I love you." Uttering those three words to the man before her, she felt a weight lifting off her shoulders. There was so much she'd held inside for so long, emotions she'd kept bottled up because she feared what revealing them would mean. "And I don't want to be without you either," Betty admitted, interlocking her fingers with his.

He slightly grinned down at her, wrapping her securely in his arms and resting his head on hers. They had a long road ahead of them, sure. But they had each other. And if history had taught them anything, it was that they could overcome just about every obstacle together.

Daniel briefly glanced up toward the heavens, smirking to himself as he envisioned his mother with an all-knowing look on her face.

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**Random? Yes. But did you like it? Please do tell. :o)**


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